Saturday, February 11, 2006
He cried today. He knows he has been putting on an act in front of his friends, today he finally collapsed. No one can help him now, not even wat he and his friends called a perfect CCA record. Nth is of use.
The story continues.
He was glad tat he entered the science stream. In fact, he was delight and got over-confident becoz he knows ta he made it into the 'second best class'. In sec three he was not tat active and sociable beocz of some BGR problems. Soon enough a year has passed, his form teacher asked him to be the monitor of the class in sec four but he rejected it. By then there are already problems with he and her.
He always have the mindset tat tml will be a better day and 2004 has passed. 2005 have arrived and he broke up with tat gal and led a cheerful life with perfect friends and teachers. He then soon believes tat one shd be happy no matter wat and some wat spreaded happiness to people around him.
Becoz of this he had earned trust of several people and even teachers. But he did something terribly wrong, he always told himself he can do it and even told his friends tat. In reality, he knows himself best, he did not put his fullest in everything he did. Everything. He lied his way through everything, even during prelims he still thing tat he can do well by not even working hard. Wat crap rite? In his life his friends always say tat he crapping, now he really knows wat he has done wrong. He happy go lucky attitude had brought him happiness and a long period of unhappiness too.
Months after his 'O's he still did not change, he kept lying to himself tat he has did his best but actually he already knows how much he can get. He had great memories with his friends, they celebrated his birthday with him, sang him a birthday song at 12 in the morning. They did everything to make him happy and yes he must admit, he is happy. But all this has come to an end. On the day of collecting his cert, he began to fear but it was too late, nth can change now. Nothing.
When he received his cert he passed everything but tat was not he wanted. Not many people even his friends knows tat everybody around him, everybody he knows of is qualified for a JC except him. Everybody except him. So wat he have a perfect CCA record? Nth can change the fact now. In the hall he sat quietly and regretted. No one is to be blamed except himself. He can't believe everything, anybody at tat point. He's to be blamed for wat he've done. Most importantly he've disappointed everybody around him, even his dad.
He always believed he can do it but all this is not supported with any action. It's all talking but no action. Some of his friends say tat his CO has brought him to tis stage but tat's not it. Nobody forced upon him to be so commited in his CCA, nobody taught him to be wrong. He has to answer everything to himself.
Now, when he looked at all the photos taken together with his group he will feel like crying. In the past his friends always tell him tat "it is easy for u to say". He finally realised wat the sentence meant.
